Friday, September 28, 2007

drunken doggie fun

Sheesh this isn't a lesson but rather a tale of all tails. One of my owners turned into a dog yesterday. It's true. She was wasted got on the ground and wrastled me just like a dog, stole my orange stick and then she bit the other owner. HOLY PEANUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

stormy troubles

Puppy Lesson #6: When the storms come a roarin' cuddle up to those who are snorin'.

If no one's there to snuggle, hit the kitchen and make a puddle.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Levels of Lazy

Puppy Lesson #5: Levels of Lazy

Level 3 sleeping on the couch till noon

Level 2 not blogging for six days

Level 1 (drum roll) pretending the kitchen floor is the backyard when you have to go.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Live by the bed, get kicked out of the bed

Puppy lesson #4: If you make yourself too comfy at the end of someone else's bed you will eventually get kicked at some point in the night. Embrace your couch space.

Friday, September 14, 2007


Puppy Lesson #3: Freedom from the bark

When you let go and allow yourself to be free there is nothing to protect and no reason to get all barky. You can hold your head high and let those other caged fools bark as you strut by.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

A bone to pick

Puppy Lesson #2:

When the world won't play with you and your bone, there's no shame in playing with your bone by yourself. Even if they look at you funny.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

puppy lessons

to give my blog more structure I've decided to stop rambling and to start getting focused.

Thus I give you puppy lessons. Insights into living your life better via a puppy (me).

Lesson #1: A watched bowl never fills. - If you go outside and run around when you return there will be food and water.


Monday, September 10, 2007

tiny bows

The lady across the street got what they call a toy poodle..except it was no toy. It was young and blond and everyone coddled it. They called it Daisy and everyone awwww-ed.

Of course I saw all of this from a distance because I was put in the backyard for bad behavior. From the window I could make out a purple beaded collar and a tiny pink bow in her hair.

I know I'll never be the bow type with my swinging belly and my fierce bark. And I know I'm way past the age of cute and cuddly. But when no one's home I sometimes stare in the mirror and practice my prance and imagine myself svelt, young and stylish with an ever so incredible tiny , tiny bow.

I could pull off pink...really I could.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

They're Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Sure, I was mad and hurt that they didn't pack me up. I took it out on stick for a few days...wouldn't even touch him. Threw him under the chair and made him stay put. Even stopped eating until wrecking ball knocked some sense into me....literally.

At the end of the day, how can I stay mad? What's the old saying...don't bite the hand that feeds you? Wait...I did that. Either way, I am butt wiggling happy to have them home.